Beautiful

Beautiful is the woman who loves the Lord
She grows sweeter
With each passing year

In the midst of difficulties
Trying circumstances
She leans on, depends upon the Lord

She has a peace that passes all understanding
When others around her are anxious
She has a quiet trust that the Lord will work it out

Her countenance radiates
Joy and happiness, peace and love
As she grows more like her Savior

Her voice is sweet
She chooses to bless and not curse
Praise God and pray

She befriends all whom she encounters
Confident that the Lord has brought them into her path
Humbly she offers encouragement and wise, godly counsel

She raised her children
In the fear and admonition of the Lord
Trusting God’s faithful promises to those who love the Lord

She does not grow old
No matter what the calendar might say
Instead she’s growing into the woman God designed her to be

She has an inner grace and radiance
A light that shines forth
As she basks in the glory of the Lord

She looks forward
To the day the Lord will bring her home
There she will be reunited with those who have gone before

She does not fear for her future is secure
Her hope can never be shaken
For her foundation is built on Christ alone


By Susan Bunts Wachtel
February 26, 2009


One of my favorite things is to turn on the digital picture and watch the pictures randomly scroll through the hundreds and thousands of pictures that are loaded on that little tiny memory card. Yesterday as glanced over at the picture frame…Jean’s picture came up…and in my mind I could hear her sweet voice from singing the night before at Bible study. Soon the pictures of many other women whom I am so blessed by God to know came up. I found the contrast striking to the last poem I wrote about...“Mean Girls”. What a difference these godly women who continue to grow in the Lord. With each passing year, they grow more beautiful…and radiate the love of Christ.

This poem is dedicated to these beautiful women of God that I know. I thank you for the example you share…and pray that one day…I will grow into the woman God created me to be. Love you so much and thank God for you!

My Darkest Hour

In my darkest hour
You are my bright and Morning Star

When my head hangs low
You are the lifter of my head

When tears fall I remember
One day you will wipe every tear from my eyes

Even when I feel alone
You are my Friend who will never leave, nor forsake me

When life leaves me burnt, devastated and scarred
You bring forth life, growth and renewal

From the depths of sin
You redeemed my soul

From the edge of destruction
You snatched me from the enemy’s hand

When I feel as if I can’t go on
You lead me through dark ravines and narrow canyons

When my foot slips on the dangerous precipice
You uphold and steady me on the path again

When weakness overtakes me
You strengthen and sustain me

When doubts assail me
You keep my mind stayed on Thee

When my circumstances demand an explanation
Your presence is all that I need

When nothing around me makes sense
I trust that Your eternal plan being worked out

When I am heavy laden
I go to the One who bids me to come for His burdens are light

When decisions demand an answer
I come to You for wisdom

When I am restless with uncertainty
Peace and comfort are found in You

When pain consumes me
I turn to the Great Physician

When the wait seems long
I will wait upon the Lord

When no one seems worthy of my trust
I will trust in the One whom the Father declared worthy

When my trials seem big
I will run to Him who is bigger still

When this lamb is lost and has wandered far away
I cry out to the Shepherd who will seek and find me

When death presses down on me
I look forward with eternal vision


Susan Bunts Wachtel
February 23, 2009


Dedicated to the many people who are bearing heavy burdens, where explanations are few. May you continue to trust in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ…and cling to Him ever so tightly.

Unforgiveness Heavy Price

My heart has turned cold
It’s hardened towards thee
Over a hurt perceived

What if the offense was intentional
What if you don’t care
What if the words “I’m sorry” never come

I know I should open my heart
Find the words to say
Restore fellowship with you once again

Yet my heart is reluctant
Unwilling to risk vulnerability
By giving voice to the pain

My heart has grown cold
It’s visible on my countenance
Effecting my thoughts and deeds

Oh Lord, I know this is wrong
Tender my heart
To Thy perfect will

My conscious is pricked by the words I read
Unforgiveness exacts a price
Heavier than I’m willing to pay

I want harmony and unity
With my fellow Christian
Fellowship restored with God and man


Susan Bunts Wachtel
February 16, 2009

The Path Not Chosen

On a path
She did not choose
Yet it will willed by God

Slowly
Eventually all
Would be taken from her

Even there
Blessings were found
In the midst of Alzheimer’s

Once unable
To openly express love
She unashamedly offers hugs and affection

Susan Bunts Wachtel
April 2009

While unpacking the remaining boxes from our move I discovered a writing tablet that I used to carry with me on my visits to see my mom. I discovered this poem that I had written just before her death. The exact date is unknown…but it was in late April 2008 shortly before her death.

My mother Gayle Lorenat feared Alzheimer’s because her sister had died from it. She saw its effects and the devastation first hand. I hated it because it took a smart, bright, proper woman…and robbed her of dignity. Yet at the end of her life…after six years of Alzheimer’s I had to admit…there were a few blessings from God in the midst. One of those blessings was that my mother who had never been one to be affectionate or say I love you was finally able to freely express love.


The picture above was taken of my mother, Gayle Lorenat shortly after we moved her into Brighton Gardens. She was more with it at that time and tried to give the appearance of normal. She had to wear a bracelet that would set off an alarm because she liked to “escape”. I called it her “LoJack” bracelet. She would walk away and have no idea how to get back. She was unable to communicate coherently.

Broken, Hurting Soul

Here I am
A sitting duck
Vulnerable
For that which so easily entangles me

I have sinned
Against God
And against man
Justifiably reproached by those who love me

I long to flee from sin
Say, “No!”
Turn my this ship around
But how

I haven’t the strength on my own
Where do I begin
How do I start
To turn my life around

I’ve tried…really I have
It seems like every door is closed
Slammed shut in my face
What am I supposed to do now

I don’t even know if I believe in God
But I do believe in the devil
For he has deceived me
I believed his lies…hook, line and sinker

Drugs and alcohol
They were supposed to numb the pain
Help me feel good about who I am
Make me forget about everything I’m not

But before I knew it…sin took hold of me
What kind of son betrays his own mother
The one who loved me
Always freely gave

I went from the occasional
“Little white lie”
Before long
My heart grew cold and calloused

Now I’m
Trapped by my iniquity
With ease I’ve hurt and used
Anyone in my path

Society tells me
I’ve served my time
Paid the price
For the wrong I’ve done

Now I’ve been set free
I want to change…I really do
People tell me they are praying
Not sure what that means…but please don’t stop

Yes…I desperately need God’s help
But I also need
A helping hand
From real live flesh and blood

Someone who understands
Knows what I’m feeling
Encountered those demons within
That I’m fighting with all my might

Someone to hold me accountable
Show me how to get along
What to do…what not to do
How to live in the day to day world

Someone who understands
What seems like baby steps
Is a giant leap
For this broken, hurting soul


Susan Bunts Wachtel
February 10, 2009


When I read the first lines of this poem to my husband Chris he thought, “Oh no…what has Susan done that she needs to confess?” But I assured him it wasn’t my story I was writing about…but instead a compilation of some of those broken, hurting souls we know. It is by the grace of God…I’ve been spared the wayward path of some.

But we all know some of these people…family or friends whose lives have spiraled out of control. Or maybe…just maybe…it’s me that God has delivered from my wayward past. May God help these broken, hurting souls.

Thank you to those who have a heart to help. Those who offer a helping hand, prayer, wise counsel from God's word…and tough love. This poem is dedicated to Gary Peterson who heads the Prison Ministry at Kindred Community Church.

Missing

I tell people that you are missing
The truth of the matter is
I have no idea what’s become of you

Until “that day”
I had always thought highly of you
Believed that you were upstanding and hardworking

Then the truth of your character
Was revealed
The depths of your depravity became clear

After that
I didn’t want to have much to do with you
The occasionally obligatory phone call sufficed

Because of our mom
We had to have some contact
But then you faded away

Has it been five or six years now
I forget
Time and events all seem to run together

Honestly I found myself angry
Resentful
That you had nothing to do with our mother

No cards
No phone calls
No checking in to see how she was doing

Was it guilt that drove you away
Or because the well had dried up
It was no longer profitable for you

Well, your mom has been dead
For almost a year now
I have no way to let you know

Or are you still out there
Anonymously
But somehow still in the know

It’s hard to imagine
That the one who resorted to dishonesty
Would not seek his fair share of what remained

That’s why I fear
Wonder daily
What’s happened to you

Did you cross the wrong person this time
Reap the consequences
Of the depths to which you’ve sunk

Is your body lying in a shallow grave
Hidden…never be discovered
Will your fate ever be known

Are your remains in a morgue
The name John Doe
Tied to your toe

Are you imprisoned
Has the law finally caught up with you
Are you paying society its due

Or are you far away
In some distant land
Hoping to avoid the penalty for your wrong doing

There is not a day
That I don’t think about you
Worry and wonder what’s become of you

I don’t know where to begin
Or what to do
To find you

The search I paid for
Came up fruitless
All traces of you disappeared a few years ago

Only God knows what’s become of you
Dear brother, I pray that the Reveler of mysteries
Will reveal what’s happened to you

Susan Bunts Wachtel
February 11, 2009

Sin's Perfect Sacrifice

In Your word
I learned of the sacrificial system
Instituted by Holy God
Who cannot look upon sin

When sin entered the world
Our sinless nature was changed
Try as I might…no amount of good works
Can save me from my sin

In my sin nature
I miss the mark
Transgress when I intentionally violate Your law
I descend into iniquity when I called evil good

Sacrifices seem so bloody…so brutal
Repulsed at the thought
Of an innocent dying
For the sins of another

The high priest of old
Laid his hands upon the sin offering
Confessed the sins of the nation
The sacrificial animal was killed…its blood sprinkled

What seems so brutal
Was the provision of a holy, loving God
To cover sin
Restore relationship with sinful man

Thankful to be living
When the sacrifice which cleansed me outwardly
Has been replaced by Christ’s perfect sacrifice
He died once, for all…and took my sin away

Perhaps I can imagine
Laying my hands upon Jesus’ head
Confessing my transgressions and iniquity
See my Savior afflicted and nailed to the cross

Would sin lose its grip on me
Would I recognize the high cost of my redemption
Would I realize that the only contribution I made to my salvation
Was the sin which Christ chose to bear

A plan so amazing
Conceived before the foundations of the world
My name was written with everlasting ink
In the Lamb’s Book of Life


By Susan Bunts Wachtel
February 4, 2009

Dedicated to Terri…thank you for so faithfully preaching the full counsel of God’s word!

Letting Go

So much of life
Is learning to let go

Letting go of people
Who will leave long before I’m ready to say goodbye

Letting go of expectations
Of how I think someone should act

Letting go of my will
Accepting God’s will for my life

Letting go of a dream
Without letting go of hope

Letting go of sorrows
Putting my hope and trust in God

Letting go of my way
Choosing to put others first

Letting go of my sin
Remembering I am dead to sin and alive to Christ

Letting go of bitterness and hurt
Applying the healing balm of forgiveness

Letting go of envy
Filled with gratitude for what the Lord has given me

Letting go of hatred
Walking in love

Letting go of the past
Living in the present

Letting go of taking the easy way
Willing to endure for that which is of eternal value

Letting go of fear
Taking courage in the Lord’s presence

Letting go of failure
Believing that God will redeem my past

Letting go demands for deliverance on my schedule
Instead praying for the grace to endure

Letting go of faithlessness
Asking and believing God for the impossible

Letting go of my timetable
Trusting God and His perfecting timing

Letting go of “Why God?”
Asking “What will You do through this Lord?”


Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 27, 2009

There Must Be A Rainbow

I look up

Find the sky is filled with rain clouds

As far as my eye can see

Overhead dark threatening clouds

Large rain drops start to fall

I’d best take cover

But my eyes are fixed

On the strange golden glow

Surrounding those once ominous clouds

The glow of the sun

Cannot be hid

By even the fiercest storm

I begin to search the sky

For when the sun appears in the midst of the storm

My heart tells me…there must be a rainbow up there somewhere

By Susan Bunts Wachtel

January 23, 2009

Dedicated to my husband, Chris Wachtel. Through the stormy, cloudy times…may we always have hope and look expectantly for the rainbow. Not looking for a sign like a wicked generation, but one who is assured that God is with us, knowing He is faithful and true. Confident that He will deliver us in His time, according to His perfect plan.

Yesterday when leaving work the sky was filled with rain clouds...but there was a beautiful golden glow. I looked up and just knew that up there, somewhere, there was a rainbow.

Choose This Day

The world tells me
Be open and tolerant
Accept all points of view
All are of equal worth

But God tells me
Narrow is the path that leads to life
Salvation is found in no other name
Than Jesus Christ

The world tells me
Just do the right thing
Encourages me to feel good about myself
Then I’ll be at peace and at one with the world

But God tells me
Before I came to Christ
I was at enmity with God
In me lies no good thing

The world tells me
The only real sin is to be judgmental
That I should live as I please…put myself first
Without concern about heaven or hell because there is no God

But God warns me
Some have a form of godliness, without power
They are lovers of self
And do not love God

The world tells me
It’s wrong to say Jesus is the only way
Surely all paths lead to God
Who am I to tell someone else they are wrong

But God tells me
That Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life
If I confess with my mouth, believe with my heart
I will be saved!

How can I withhold the truth
From those who are lost and perishing
Blinded by the enemy
Deceived…and believing a lie

There are no second chances
No purgatory to pay for my sin
No good work that will save me
Except one

Only God’s perfect sacrifice
The atoning work of Jesus Christ on the cross
Testify I must
Of His redeeming love


by Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 21, 2009

The Previousness of God

The previousness of God
At work in my present
Revealed in my future
He is working all things together for good
For this one who loves the Lord

At His appointed time
He turns wrong into right
Bad into good
Weaving the circumstances of my life
Into the tapestry of His eternal plan

No need to fear
Or waste time with anxiety
Instead I am called to trust Him
When no answers are forthcoming
Or when I don’t understand

Oh to glorify Him
With my life
Testify to the goodness of God
In all circumstances
That is my heartfelt plea


By Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 13, 2009

Because

Because the Lord is my Shepherd
I have…
Joy in my sorrow
Comfort in my pain
Faith in my doubt
Light in the darkness
Peace in the storms
Hope in my trials
Strength in my weakness
Forgiveness of my sin
A never forsaking Friend


by Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 11, 2009

Dedicated to special friends for whom I am most grateful. Love you and praying for you dear ones.

Keeper of the Memories

I think this is what it must feel like
To be old
I hold in my hands
Mementos and treasures
To no one but me

Shoe boxes filled with cards
Expressing sentiments and well wishes
From friends and family so long ago
I trace your writing with my finger
Hoping to connect once again

The pictures from old
Of family I never knew
All those who loved you
Have long since passed away
I feel it my obligation to remember

When I see your smile
It causes me to wonder what made you to laugh
You had such serious eyes
What hurt, pain and thoughts
Were burdening your soul

You were a real live person
Who laughed and cried
Who loved and hated
A daughter, sister, wife, mother and someone’s best friend
A son, brother, husband, father and someone’s closest pal

By God’s providence
We are related though we may have never met
I wish I could reach across time
Tell you that I treasure the memory of you
It is with care hold your words and pictures from so long ago

As I hold these treasures from the past
I feel such profound sadness…I want to weep
Through my tears I wonder what will become of my life
What will I do that really matters
Who will remember me


Susan Bunts Wachtel
January 3, 2009